Wednesday, August 03, 2011

The Question of Suffering


This is Copied with permission from one of my favourite bloggers 
You can read the same on his blog Greatbong.net  please do comment on his blog if you want to.I re-posted this because its a sentiment i have long harboured...Thanks 
Aparna

I read this story in an Indian newspaper some years ago. A mentally challenged young girl, who used to beg and live off scraps on the street, had been raped and brutalized, most possibly by many men. She had then been left on a garbage dump. For days, she had lain there, unable to move,  crying out to passers-by in the best way she could, pleading them to help her. No one did.  Not one. Till finally death ended the little girl’s agony.
As a purveyor of the litany of barbarities that pass for news, I have become hardened to what goes on in the world. But this one somehow just broke through. It may sound melodramatic when I say it but I had tears in my eyes. And I did ask myself “Why?”
In Arun Shourie’s new book (which I have not read) “Does He Know A Mother’s Heart?” and which has been reviewed beautifully by Pratap Bhanu Mehta here, he asks a similar question ” How can God let children pass through extraordinary suffering?” In looking for that answer, he questions every religion and many holy men. In the process, Mr. Shourie, one of the keenest minds of modern India and possibly the last of the truly great public intellectuals we have had in the country, tears through the logic religions use to justify suffering (“Your child suffers for your sins”, “Your child suffers for sins committed in a past life”, “Your child will enjoy great joy in his next life for the pain in this”). I cannot wait to read this book and I am sure, having read a few of Mr. Shourie’s past works, that it will be a worthy read.
The unquestioned believers will call the entire exercise of dissecting religious tenets futile. Religion, they will say, is the word of God (of course only their religion, the others are not), whispered to human representatives behind a burning bush, or through a dream or in a battlefield. Trying to find plot holes in His word is nothing but an expression of human arrogance, an endeavor doomed to failure. God (as expressed through THEIR religion) is always correct and if you found any “bugs”, it is your logical argument which has a problem.
I am an agnostic. That is I do not deny God’s existence nor do I doubt it. I simply believe it to be an unknowable question. As an aside, I am not an atheist because I find atheism to be dogmatic in its anti-dogmatism, because I have yet to encounter  conclusive proof that God does not exist (I believe that a proof or a counter-argument can never be found). Because I definitely do not believe that God came down and told his words to men, I am sanguine that religions are human constructs. And since humans are fallible, their creations will also reflect their fallibilities. Hence it is not surprising that religions cannot provide a logically coherent answer to Mr. Shourie’s “Why” (and my also).
One must remember though that all religion grew out of “Why”-s. Ancient man figured out pretty quickly that in this world, there is cause and then there is effect. If a tiger sinks a tooth in you, you bleed. If you jump into the river, you get wet. But what about night and day? What about the rains? What caused that? The Unknown.God. That the Unknown was totally beyond human control and understanding was a rather disquieting idea. So causalities were created—if man did something, God would respond to that action.  Which is why God needed to be kept happy  through gifts and obeisance (in the same way humans become happy).  Else if he became angry (for exactly the same reasons humans became angry), there would be Hell to pay. If you sacrifice an animal in God’s name, the rains will come on time. If you do not, there will be drought. Rituals thus came into being. And many of the “Why”s were supposedly answered.
At the same time, societies needed certain laws to be able to run efficiently. Do not kill people. Do not covet your neighbor’s wife. Do not pick her husband’s pocket. Thus humans sought to define a notion of “good” and “bad”. If you tell me “I am telling you that murder is bad” I won’t listen to you. But if you tell me “God commands you not to murder else he will make sure you lose your right eye”, you have my attention. Hence God became the final arbiter of good and bad. Along with that came the notion of justice—a system of positive and negative incentives that ensured their compliance. Some of the justice would of course be dispensed here on earth by humans but then there were a lot more that was going to be handed out up there or when the world shall end.
As the years passed, science answered many of the “Why”s? Most people realized that dancing around the fire won’t make the winters any milder. Or sprinkling ash on a man clutching his chest won’t make him better. But there were questions that remained un-answered, questions outside the purview of science. Why are we here? Where are we going? And why is their human suffering and why does merciful God do nothing about it? Men still turned to religion for these answers and religion obliged with a reply. Suffering happens due to causality (a concept even primitive men understood)—–its’ either something you did in this life (didn’t pray frequently or ate non-veg) or in the previous (murdered a few) that is “responsible” for your current  predicament. This was a comforting realization, that suffering happens for a reason, namely your actions, and that you will not suffer if you stayed good. It was also beneficial for society as a whole too because many men, who otherwise would not fear human law, stayed to the straight and narrow from the fear of divine retribution in this life or the next.
One cannot escape the fact that the concept of “good lead to good and bad leads to bad” is purely a human construct. If you look at Nature as a whole, you will see that things are a bit different. It is rough, brutal, cruel and frankly, terrifyingly unfair.There it is the survival of the fittest and the meek not only does not inherit the earth but gets wiped out from it. Nature does not care how you survive—-whether you eat your own cub or attack a pack of lambs, all it cares is that you do and that you bring every bit of advantage evolution gave you to the party.
Which is why I believe asking religions “Why do children suffer” is like looking for a ring lost in the dark near the light of the lamp. Most religions use morality-driven causality to answer the question of suffering whereas Nature (or God if you please), once you look real close, does not really care for human notions of right and wrong and of justice.
That is why I personally have stopped asking “Why?” when I hear of children dying or suffering. It is like speculating why a dice face came down as “one” instead of “six”. The only question worth asking is “What we, as human beings can do about the suffering of our fellow humans?”  That is only what lies in our hands.
God, should he exist, does not “care” for us or of our expectations from him.
Which is why, in turn, I shall never care for nor expect anything from him.

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

new year wishes

hmmmm
a new year, is that what it is?
how do u define a new year? is it anyway different from a new month or a new week or a new day? perhaps not much different from a new moment too?
do u think we should be celebrating not only the new years but the new moments too?
.
.
.
in theory, yes it sounds so cool, so soul stirring, Zen like
the question is, can we?
nah! i don't think so and that is where these yearly celebrations come in.
a year in our calendar completes a of cycle. we humans are creatures of behavior, mind u. so we turn round and round in familiar notions of time and continuity and to-do-lists and happy new years.
but then, these are important.
these yearly celebrations.
.
.
.
they make us realize, that okay dude/dudette, whatever the heck you have been doing for the past 365 days, here is a time to at least look back and remember, the joys, sorrows, laughter, tears, trips, good times, bad times...whatever. we don't do this every moment, no problem; not every day or week or month, not that much of a problem, but this yearly celebration is a must.
so, for you, my advice/suggestion/request, please don't treat this mail as another piece of junk. just think about it.
.
.
.
make ur every breath count.
try to give your best to anything u r doing.
remember, that it is each single moment that will someday add up to a year and then eventually your life.
.
.
and if i could wish u a thing for the coming year, it would b this...

"On the next 31st of December, when you look back at the year gone by, may you find truth, peace and contentment in your heart."
.
.
.
amen

Thursday, November 20, 2008

33,00,00,000 gods and more

the jewel track goes
"so we pray to as many different gods,
as there are flowers...
but who will save your soul"

and there are... many gods, one each for different religions, castes, societies. there are fights, murders, terrorism over these gods. after all that is disenchantment. from our gods, we form our own gods. we follow cults, or become atheists, we don't believe. Humans have a tendency to slight everything else that anyone else believes. religion can kill you, and it can make you live, in hope.
people have their own way of bringing faith in their lives, and thats what cultures and societies are made on. what brings them happiness is what god is to them. everything else exists cause we exist, we the living, breathing, talking beings. the mere fact that we live in the face of an apparently meaningless or absurd world. everything begins from that and ends there.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Trust

Is it really humane to trust and then distrust, and may be trust back again? Is it fair?

I've had my share of trust, distrust, and trust ... Is a moment of distrust following? Will I be able to distrust again? And later, will I be able to trust again?

Is it reasonable to kind of shift between the trust and distrust just based on the need of the hour? That would probably not be a valid statement. We go into a state of distrust when we need Him the most and He isn't there. Or it seems He isn't there. Why do we go back into a state of trust at some point in time again then? Do we need Him again? Do we forgive Him?

Is it fair on our part? Is it fair for Him? Can He forgive us for distrusting Him?

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

gods and their lovers

its been weird two months of my life. from being someone who has just started believing in god to someone who has finally acknowledged she needs the presence, i have come a long way. or maybe not. i can't really decide.
those who have known me for a long time now would probably know that i used to really "believe" in God, his mercy and all that a few years ago.. used to go to the church regularly, more than my christian boyfriend used to go. used to go to the temples and sit their trying to gather every happy feeling inside me. kneel down the minute i felt low and needed anyone, pray before eating, all that... i cant say he was always there. but a certain peace came over. the kind of peace you have when you have faith on a certain someone. and you know this peace wont be over and then it all vanished. with a simple break of heart. not because i blamed god or anything. simply because i was so broken that it never occurred to me, that probably its all for the good. maybe it was, maybe not. i can never definitely say that god stood beside me or not... when i was begging him for getting sam back, whether god even wanted to say "no, i can't" there was no answer and i kind of felt left out. and thats what broke me. somewhere deep down i guess there is larger picture. in certain ways i feel its the smaller details which remain more important.

what got me back to god was love again. this time in a special way. he just prays to god. believes... and that makes me feel i need to believe too. i just need to keep my faith. i dont know what happened.. sitting in the hotel room alone, all i needed was a hug. and i felt maybe i can ask it from someone who i havent asked much from in the last few years. maybe i just need to call him back. the pain was just too huge to bear alone. in god i was trying to find my divine incarnate. the small piece of god that has rubbed off on the person i love so much. i dont know whether god came or not. but the pain eased off. and that was that. i just suddenly needed that presence again. i stil cant decide whether it guides me or not. i still cant decide whether god loves me at all or knows i exist or not. but i just need him. just like i need "A"... i dont know how much more is planned for me. whether i have had it easy till now and its going to be more difficult for me now... whether i can go through it or i will give up. but i still thank him. everytime i talk to my divine touch i thank... and beg he gets his smiles, he gets his pooh, atleast one prayer is answered... he doesnt need me anymore. and i am cassandra.. no one believes me. my premonitions are right. i know whats gonna happen even before they think that is possible.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

conversations

adi: :)
3:20 AM am i?
!!!
me: u are??
what??
3:21 AM adi: closer to god than u?
me: yeah
adi: i dont thnk so
3:22 AM me: huh???
no u are,,,
uve always trusted him more than i have
adi: impressions r so deceptive my love
3:23 AM me: uhun?
sweety, i used to trust him back in 2005
adi: and if i were that close to god, i wud have convinced him to get sam back for u
maybe i tried too
3:24 AM but wont tell u how much
me: now i only beg to him... im like the beggar outside the puri temple... some of the blessings may fall off from the higher castes of people
adi: hmmm

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

The Almighty

"Trust me, I will take you through the rains and the storms".
"Who are you?"
"The One who is responsible for your existence, for what is called love, for the rains and the storms."
"Ha! Rains and storms and love all have the same source! You cannot be God can You? The God who immerses us in the rain of love, and who drowns us in the storms of life, how can You, oh my, have a dual personality varying from one extreme to another?"
"The rains of love, I cannot give you alone. For you might emerge a better God of the rain of love. You may not emerge a better benefactor for delivering the storms of life..."

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

valentines

it just begins.
in abstraction of thought
of concious lovingness
and of playfulness of the heart

i begin to write
romancing romance.
wanting to entice,
the poets and the lovers.
advertising myself,
in jazzy, snazzy titles,
with subtitles in subtelities
and with the timing just right...
i might find the right reviews.

what is it all about??
no,
not questioning st. V's sainthood
the lover's junctions and intentions!
am i even answering myself??
or is this even a poem?
or a gimmick in time??
or just random thoughts
of the ideal (idle) mind...

makeshift causes,
makeshift love
convictions and strengths
diplomacy's games
there is no head or tail to it
m not yet the one,
who is ready
to be "hanged till death"...

all i ask...
let me just be outside the gates of heaven...
to watch the games played
to see u take up the role
of god and lucifer
let me see u dramatise ur duality
let me see u and sir valentines at loggerheads
trying to do and undo love
at stalemates
and i know you will cheat


i want to know who ur agent is?
he has advertised u well,
u know that. right?
now, just how much did u pay?
trade secret is it?
lets just keep this down quiet.

lets not tell st. valentineS
that we have someone
better than ARCHIES

im ur pal sir,
i will assist u in this war.
all i need is a training in marketing.
HE has sent me...
here is his card........"



naah its not a poem
im not a poet either...
this was just a gimmick,
im learning from the new ad agent i met
can't tell u the details can i?
and yet this is but an asylum
i can take refuge.
i can take the poetic liscence
be insane

what are the clauses though???

Friday, October 05, 2007

song of the little road

Pather Panchali (dir:Satyajit Ray-1955) was his debu. and went on to win several awards and critical acclaims including the Best Human Document, Cannes in 1956.
why i put this piece of information here??? the human relations can conquer over everything...it must have its rewards.
the song of the little road...the ever trusting soul of ours... who or on what is the main question
long ago i was told ...thr is always and angel who protects you..but u need to trust on that angel...u need to have full faith in what u want to do....
is it god intervention or is it ur own soul who becomes god and vice-versa.???

"In the inspired 'candy-seller' sequence, as Durga and Apu secretly relish tamarind paste, their mother is complaining about hardships to their father. Durga hears a faint bell. She knows it is the candy-seller. Both go out and look longingly at the the pots with sweets in them. Durga sends Apu to ask for money from their father. Mother intervenes, and Apu returns empty handed. But the site of the pot-bellied candy-seller caring two bobbing pots of sweets is too tempting to resist. Both start following him. A stray dog joins the procession as it is reflected in a shimmering pond. "(http://www.satyajitray.org/films/pather.htm)

have u ever actually done that..?? as children thr are so many times u actually dont have money for the innumerous candies refused by momie dearest. have u ever followed him with ur gaze atleast? the mezmerizing tinkle of the candy sellers bell. or even the enormity of the ferris wheel that made us feel as if we will touch heavens???
gods gifts?? or just innocent trusting souls

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Radha-Krishna



To Him whose name is not without Radha,
She prayed to Him, Oh Lord!
Let my name never be without my Krishna ...
To Him who blessed Radha with His love
Because Radha loved Him enough
She prayed to Him, Oh Lord!
Give my Krishna a chance to bless me ...
Radha is known to have been one of the biggest devotee/lover of Lord Krishna. Krishna blessed Radha saying that even though He would be married to Rukmani, it would always be Radha whose name would be linked with Krishna.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

What is it that I see?

What is it that I see?
A bright streak -
Is it light or just
Another blank hope ...
A hope into nothingness
Will it pass by like others?
Will He lighten up the tunnel?
Is it water or just
An enacting mirage ...
A mirage full of love
Will it vanish like others?
Will He leave the oasis for me?
What is it that I see?
Is it God or just
The Devil's wing
A wing to carry me ...
Will it be able to lift my burden?
Will His World be as burdened?

When in doubt trust Him... A friend who didn't believe in Him said that to me. I wondered why... Will He do anything at all? Is he capable?

Monday, July 09, 2007

apology

well one thing....i apologise to adi..i had promised him a new blog today.....
well i forgot to bring the written data i already had to post on it...soo...ahem sorry again harry.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

A pretence

A silent tear that rolled down her eye
And still, I can see no reason why
He failed to notice that precious wasted tear
He's failed to bring her a bright cheer
Oh! He's failed for the umpteenth time now
And He's failed as if he can't recover.
Oftentimes, He's as helpless as me
Only He's absent from the scene and I ain't;
I don't have a choice but to watch her cry
Try, try and try is all I do; God damn try
Try to cheer her up, try to be a man
And Him? He's fake, lame and yes, a scam.

Sorry if this offended anyone; I didn't mean that. It's just that He's no longer a reason I have to look up to. He's a mere pretense to me now. I could've written it over my blog but due to some reasons I chose not to.

Friday, April 13, 2007

ON UR OWN

I GOT A MAIL FROM A FRIEND SAYING ALL THESE THINGS AND ASKING WHETHER I WILL FINALLY DELETE THE MSG OR PASS IT ON!!!
WELL HERE IS THE ANSWER...

"well i wil delete it.....
the reason is as follows...have u tried answering those questions urself???
well i may like to try answering those questions for u...only try.....
1.Why is it so hard to tell the truth...yet so easy to tell a lie, ......
ANS: coz its easy to get away with a lie.... coz almost no one...including myself is ready to face the truth. and wen we do face the truth ...we are scared....to openly acknowledge it....
2.
why do we sleep in the temple. but when the sermon is over we suddenly wake up?
ANS coz wen we hear it....we realise thr is nothing which is being said that we agree with.....its a bunch of "spiritual bullshit" that which is not applicable in todays world... neither is it the whole truth....most of the times the sermons are made in hatred to other religions....in hypocricy that has built up over the years...wen we wake up atleast we have had those few minutes of peaceful sleep.
3.
why is it so hard to talk about God...but so easy to talk about sex?
ANS easy...coz its so much less complicated....who do u talk to god about?? what about god do u talk to? god is a very personal thing....thats y He has so many forms....everyone has a different perception of god and that should not be difficult to understand if ur a hindu.... sex on the other hand is almost same for all. it completes the want of a bodily need... and its easy to talk about coz its a need...spirituality in the sense of ;god' may or may not be needed.
4.why are we so bored to look at a holy magazine... but so easy to read a playboy magazine?
ANS ...how difficult is that to understand??? coz holy magazines only talk abt their viewpoint...abt thr prophesies and there answers....it does not provide a basis other than faith....well and faith is something that is hard to find...coz people hav faith in the wrong things....i did this wrong so i keep a fast for 15 days and things will be alright....its not a solution its just a way out....
playboy magazines!!! well they are plain fun...they can be giggled, oggled and frowned upon... it generates a reaction....some kind of emotional reaction..its a form of entertainment....just like a fiction...
5.why is it so easy to delete a Godly offline messages ... yet we forward the nasty ones?
ANS coz no matter how many godly msgs are frwrded no one reads them full heartedly...they will be forwarded and then will lie forgotten....we will do the same very things those msgs told us not to do....how many times have U got a msg that tells u to be true to urself and how many times have u been.....even in the very same day....how many times have u been forgiving coz a godly msg told u to be?? well think , truthfully to urself....nasty msgs are forwarded coz u can atleast laugh on them and shrug them away while in office desk....just smile at them and forget them...no harm done
6.Why are temples getting smaller... but yet bars and clubs are growing??
ANS which was the last temple/ church u went to where u dint find hypocricy or money mongering....atleast bars and clubs dont put up a sign board saying "please donate it will go for a good cause" and let it go to their managers pocket....u know exactly y ur paying in a bar or a club...."

Sunday, March 11, 2007

surprize surprize

here i am after a whole lot has transpired between the times i have blogged and now that im blogging.....
im a bit tired of the glory of god and i seem to be on a " i believe in god but dont trust him anymore" belief.....as meet_me said its a humane feel of god that i get with her.......
when i talk to her i feel as if she is another me living halfway across the world and believe me that doppleganger affect saddens me.......coz i may have understood to live with the fact that im the only one living with my problems but then she is another one.....and that makes me angrier on god....she even reacts to situations like me....atleast thats what i believe.....im sure she is distinctive in many ways ......but the way we react is very similar if not the same.....i guess she knows the reasons.....
i have been talking and discussing about god a lot so a lot of thinking abt him is going on.....a lot of dvaita and advaita conversations have been going on....advaita meaning god having only one form.....that of being formless
and dvaita which means god having different forms that which can be pictured.....
i and my dad have different views but we kind of have a agreement by the fact that it is upon oneself to percieve god..
i guess i have talked abt this before
but now im in this phase of "whether god is not interested in anybody or whether it is only me.....and if it is only me then why so?"

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Humane God ?

Why's God so humane ? Why isn't He Godly? Isn't he supposed to be someone who forgives and forgets... and who loves? Does He really love? Or like humans, he has a motive in everything he does? A purpose hidden right where us humans can't see but can feel its existence - exactly like Him.
Hmmm, I didn't like the idea of thinking this way about God. I don't want to think like this. Not that it matters to Him. But I think it would matter to me - making that one supreme thing oblivious to myself. Who's left then to blame? Who's left then to look up to when you know it isn't humans who can help you out?
Are we too demanding? Are we too wanting in our wish to live a decent life like most people around us?
I so wish to be like my dad, who can let his hope for God live no matter what. It's really hard to see positivity in life at times, to see positivity in God's doings for us. How long do you think does it take for God to completely test our faith in Him? An hour? A day? A month? A year? Or a lifetime?

Monday, October 16, 2006

two prayers answered

on friday the 13th
the gods seem to be listening.......
or is the super and the subconcious...????
ur inputs friends......been long i have seemm anybody who seem to be logging in and putting their inputs
kya baat hai titash?????? we dont love the same gods but we do love gods isnt it?

Friday, October 06, 2006

ahem! am i allowed here?

so here goes......shadows has been on a ignore god spree in the last few months but seems that she is back......
recently she picked a bible from a friends place (u cud call this place secular....coz we have people from all faiths in india here....atleast the main ones.......a hindu, a muslim, a sikh, and a guy who believes more in the church than the temple.......{ok ok i know thr are other faiths too but i guess this proof of secularity is enough ....considering that this 2 bedroom appartment accomodates only these many guys}).....hmm and i was told that i shouldnt pick it up coz i wont value it!....hm in a way he is right.....a lot of people wont value another religions holy book.....but i think it is great way of knowing that (god or no god) all religions have a basic core......AND that core is what humanity is based on........considering that i read it only for the sake of reading it ....and knowing that all pieces of literature poetry art music can only come from god......to me beauty comes from god.......

that brings me to the point as to why i am writing this post at all........
a friend asked me in the wee hours....."do u believe in god?" a question to me who was in complete denial..........denial of god ....denial of his grace,
anyway .....im in denial of his grace even now.....but then the sinple question with a simpkle answer......."yes" or a "no"
i couldnt let myself say "no" coz no matter what ...i can only say yes.......god exists......inside me......like in all......but well gracefull he isnt.......still isnt.....
maybe as mayank says "there are times when u shud leave things to him." something that some one else also said "ur not omnipotent......u cant handle everything"....so i leave it to him/her.......lets see what it brings to me......now im learning urdu.....i wanna read the quran sharif in urdu.......no arabic is too tough for me! aqnd maybe i will learn hebrew some day too........
allah hafiz.....

Monday, September 11, 2006

God for Cissy

... Every time Cissy went into a cave, she found herself thinking about God, the God who stacked rock on rock and watched over fatherless girls.
God was Delia's voice in the darkness when Cissy was tired, so soft and clear she almost believed the voice to be real. God was the thing outside herself, that enormous desire to shatter into a thousand living pieces and burn. God was the moment past orgasm, lying spent, belly-down on her own bed with her hand over her mouth-nothing she wanted any of her family to know about.
... Amanda's God was not Cissy's God. Amanda's God counted sins and dealt out penance. Cissy's God breathed righteousness and fire. Amanda's God awarded fat babies and back porches. Cissy's God was the pure risk of some impossible expiation-Jesus on the Cross of the body in extremis, the chance of redemption in the aweful dark. Her God was a grin in the darkness, the agony that rode around her shoulders when she swam so far her muscles gave out... Probably, she told herself, God had to hide in caves these days.

*Excerpt from Cavedweller by Dorothy Allison. Delia is Cissy's mother whom Cissy hated. Amanda is Cissy's step sister who believes that all God cares about is going to the church. I loved Cissy's idea of God when I read this part, and thought of posting it here.

Friday, July 28, 2006

god wont help aparna.....

he has always hated her...and she wishes she knew why....
either he is sadist or he is just too hatefull
i do not bow to any such god.....
for all the smiles he has made for me....there are a million more tears.....
the road ends here.......please keep this blog up.....i wud like to hear more about this person who has hated me for so long...longer than i thought he could.....